Holidays/Special Days

PICNICS, PARADES, PARTIES

(thebearhugwaltz)

I have written about how even though this is my favorite time of  year, it is also my worst time.  This is the season of picnics and parades and outdoor parties.  We do get invites, but often the work involved to for both of us to attend is just to much.  Setting up one or more sitters for mom so that we can go to a gathering, and not watch the time to rush back home.  It is no fun at all when we have to go by our self, and one stay home, so most of the time, we just don't go anywhere. 

As I thought about this, I went back to my being invisible post, where I had talked about how I had wanted someone to bring me free pancakes at a local spot was offering.  What if family/friends considered bringing a dish or even more then one from a picnic, cookout or party, to a home where they knew a caregiver was, who couldn't get out and enjoy these functions?  Does anyone think about something like that?  I am not just referring to myself and my husband, but any caregiver who cannot go and enjoy these good times in the summer.  Of course this can apply to any holiday or function where food is involved, and these individuals would be there if it was not for their caregiving responsibilities.

The 4th of July is coming up, it will be a quiet and lonely day, watching all the cars driving by going to the parade and then back home to get ready for their picnics and cookouts.  Then at night driving downtown to watch the fireworks.  Some of these things, we pretty much stopped doing long ago when the kids didn't want to anymore.  But to have a choice to do them, that we really don't have anymore.  

It is not just missing out on all the wonderful summer foods, some of which we could fix, but it is certainly not the same, it is that someone thought about us, and they took the time to bless us with some picnic goodies.  It is not being invisible, it is someone caring about us here within these 4 walls. 

Does anyone ever think about what good deed they could do for someone?  Well, here you go...go bless a caregiver with some wonderful summer treats!  Little things mean alot believe me!

WANDERING

She's a Wanderer, She's a Wanderer, She Roams Around, Around, Around

(hebearhugwaltz.com  Nov.6, 2009)

I can’t say how many times I would get up during the night or early morning hours, look over at mom’s house and see lights on, not just in her bedroom, but in the front room too. One time, my husband happened to be getting back late in the evening and saw her kitchen light on. He went to check on her and she was getting ready to eat breakfast ….at midnight.


Day and night, night and day, it all blended together for her most of the time. With no one living with her to schedule her days and nights, she did her own thing. When she woke up, if she decided it was time to get up, even if it was still dark out, she would get up, get dressed and go and have breakfast, or go sit in the front room for and read or watch TV for awhile.


Living next door, we checked on her in the morning and during the day as we could and then again in the evening. We did things for her that she could no longer do. But keeping her in bed at night, that we couldn’t do because we weren’t physically living in her house….yet. She also spent a lot of napping during the day, basically because no one was here and she would get lonely or bored, so of course that didn’t help her to sleep during the night either.


When we had the fire, the only thing we could do was to move in here with mom, or we would have been homeless. A new chapter in our lives, from a book I never thought I’d be writing. That was my grandma’s house. It was over 100 years old. Grandma raised her family in it, dad and mom raised the five of us in it, I raised my four sons in it, and all but one of my seven grandchildren had spent time in it. So, that which contained my lifetime of memories was now a blackened shell.


But we were well, and now faced with the job of making this little house of one, a house of three.
We had to sleep on the hide-a-bed in the front room, and many times during the night we would be awakened by the ‘wanderer’. She would wake up, go potty, and decide to get up and get dressed and come out of her room. She would turn on the kitchen light, or walk into the front room and sometimes turn on a light in there, where we were trying to sleep! She’d head for the bathroom, turn on another light! She wanted to get her teeth! Now all this would occur in any sequence and at any time of the night or early morning hours. Every night we were ‘chasing’ her back to bed at some point! Every night we would awaken to the dreaded metallic click! Click! Click! As her walker made it’s way across the kitchen floor, knowing that confrontation was soon to begin again. Sometimes, she would just walk into the kitchen, look at the clock, turn around and go back to her room and to bed, yay! However, that was few and far between. This was the nightly routine for about six months. Nightly sleep interruptions, yet those were the easy nights!
The weeks following when she broke her ankle, and had the black out episode were very taxing emotionally and physically. They had affected her mental and physical abilities greatly. She did recover well from the ankle break and walked with her walker again, but always had to have someone near by. Her mental acuity is what it is, and we deal with the fuzzy moments, repeating conversations or information as often as we have to.


She has been totally depended on us since that time, although she will state, I don’t need anyone to look after me! She still has a great sense of humor. She loves to watch The Chronicles of Narnia, Jumanji and she gets a good chuckle at the Three Stooges! She said to me one day, “We sure do have fun here don’t we?” and another time she told me I was more fun than a barrel of monkeys! That was almost 4 years ago, and the realities of care giving have long sense set in. But we will still try to keep humor going. You have to do that for everyone’s sake.

WANDERING

Wandering and Getting Lost

Six in 10 people with dementia will wander. A person with Alzheimer's may not remember his or her name or address, and can become disoriented, even in familiar places. Wandering among people with dementia is dangerous, but there are strategies and services to help prevent it.

• Who is at risk?
• Tips to prevent wandering
• Make a plan

Who is at risk of wandering?

Anyone who has memory problems and is able to walk is at risk for wandering. Even in the early stages of dementia, a person can become disoriented or confused for a period of time. It's important to plan ahead for this type of situation. Be on the lookout for the following warning signs:

Wandering and getting lost is common among people with dementia and can happen during any stage of the disease.

• Returns from a regular walk or drive later than usual
• Tries to fulfill former obligations, such as going to work
• Tries or wants to "go home," even when at home
• Is restless, paces or makes repetitive movements
• Has difficulty locating familiar places like the bathroom, bedroom or dining room
• Asks the whereabouts of current or past friends and family
• Acts as if doing a hobby or chore, but nothing gets done (e.g., moves around pots and dirt without actually planting anything)
• Appears lost in a new or changed environment

We Can Help

The Alzheimer's Association offers programs designed to assist in the monitoring and return of those who wander.

• MedicAlert^® + Alzheimer's Association Safe Return^® is a nationwide identification program designed to save lives by facilitating the safe return of those who wander.
• Comfort Zone^® and Comfort Zone Check-In^®  allows families to monitor a person with dementia's whereabouts remotely using Web-based location services.

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Tips to prevent wandering

Wandering can happen, even if you are the most diligent of caregivers. Use the following strategies to help lower the chances:

• Carry out daily activities.
  Having a routine can provide structure. Learn about creating a daily plan.
• Identify the most likely times of day that wandering may occur.
  Plan activities at that time. Activities and exercise can reduce anxiety, agitation and restlessness.
• Reassure the person if he or she feels lost, abandoned or disoriented.
  If the person with dementia wants to leave to "go home" or "go to work," use communication focused on exploration and validation. Refrain from correcting the person. For example, "We are staying here tonight. We are safe and I'll be with you. We can go home in the morning after a good night's rest."
• Ensure all basic needs are met.
  Has the person gone to the bathroom? Is he or she thirsty or hungry?
• Avoid busy places that are confusing and can cause disorientation.
  This could be a shopping malls, grocery stores or other busy venues.
  
  
  
• Place locks out of the line of sight.
  Install either high or low on exterior doors, and consider placing slide bolts at the top or bottom.
• 
  Use devices that signal when a door or window is opened.Camouflage doors and door knobs.
  Camouflage doors by painting them the same color as the walls, or cover them with removable curtains or screens. Cover knobs with cloth the same color as the door or use childproof knobs.
• This can be as simple as a bell placed above a door or as sophisticated as an electronic home alarm.
• Provide supervision.
  Never lock the person with dementia in at home alone or leave him or her in a car without supervision.
• Keep car keys out of sight.
  A person with dementia may drive off and be at risk of potential harm to themselves or others.
• If night wandering is a problem:
  Make sure the person has restricted fluids two hours before bedtime and has gone to the bathroom just before bed. Also, use night lights throughout the home.

Make a plan

The stress experienced by families and caregivers when a person with dementia wanders and becomes lost is significant. Have a plan in place beforehand, so you know what to do in case of an emergency.

• Keep a list of people to call on for help.
  Have telephone numbers easily accessible.

  When someone with dementia is missing:

  Begin search-and-rescue efforts immediately. Ninety-four percent of people who wander are found within 1.5 miles of where they disappeared.
• Ask neighbors, friends and family to call if they see the person alone.
• Keep a recent, close-up photo and updated medical information on hand to give to police.
• Know your neighborhood.
  Pinpoint dangerous areas near the home, such as bodies of water, open stairwells, dense foliage, tunnels, bus stops and roads with heavy traffic.
• Is the individual right or left-handed?
  Wandering generally follows the direction of the dominant hand.
• Keep a list of places where the person may wander.
  This could include past jobs, former homes, places of worship or a restaurant.
• Provide the person with ID jewelry.
  Enroll the person in MedicAlert^®+ Alzheimer's Association Safe Return^®.
• Consider having the person carry or wear an electronic tracking GPS device that helps manage location.
  Comfort Zone^® and Comfort Zone Check-In^® are two options.
• If the person does wander, search the immediate area for no more than 15 minutes.
  Call "911" and report to the police that a person with Alzheimer's disease — a "vulnerable adult" — is missing. A Missing Report should be filed and the police will begin to search for the individual. In addition, a report should be filed with MedicAlert+ Alzheimer's Association Safe Return at 1.800.625.3780. First responders are trained to check with MedicAlert+ Alzheimer's Association Safe Return when they locate a missing person with dementia. You do not need to be enrolled in MedicAlert+ Alzheimer's Association Safe Return in order to file a missing report.